I bought the denim jacket in a size XL. At first I didn’t want to buy that big of a size because I wasn’t sure it would fit.
I’m 5’8” and approx 180lbs. This is the most that I’ve ever weighed & im finally okay with that. I’m happy that I bought an XL because it fits perfectly. Since having kids, I’ve preferred my clothes to be a bit roomier. So, if you’re body is similar to mine & you prefer a snugger fit, I highly recommend that you order a smaller size.
If you’re looking for sunglasses that are a vibe and actually block out the sun, you should definitely get these! As soon as I put them on, I instantly feel like a bad ass hippie bitch. And that’s the goal!
I used to LOVE going shopping in person & then the pandemic hit. Since then, I’ve done most of my shopping online. I just recently started picking out groceries in person again.
I love shopping online because I can do it from the comfort of my bed & I don’t feel guilty for leaving my kids at home while I spoil myself. Nor do I have to yell at my toddler 20 times for touching shit in the store.
Like this look? Subscribe to my blog & follow me on IG for more!
I’ve decided to start journaling online to hold myself more accountable. I often say that I love writing, which is true, but I hardly ever make time for it right now.
I’m so busy.
Building a Business While Raising a Family is ExtremelyDifficult
Currently my days are comprised of wiping asses, washing laundry, cooking three meals for a toddler who doesn’t eat, creating content for multiple media outlets, feeding my baby on demand, trying to build a biz, positively impact the motherhood community and SO MUCH MORE.
Saying I’m exhausted is not strong enough of a word to accurately define what I’m feeling.
Part of me wants to stop and just do nothing because it’s so relaxing- I can’t remember the last time I fully stopped and did nothing.
Even when I’m focusing on relaxing because it improves my mental health, my brain never stops working. While watching tv I’ll be thinking about all of the content I want to create.
Write a book. Build a post rage support course. Start a podcast. Create a village of strong women.
I want to accomplish so much but I have very little time to do so-or so I tell myself.
I quickly become stressed out when I think about everything that I want to create because I tell myself that I’m already behind. When truthfully, I’m wrong.
Sure, many moms have already built an empire from home, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t too.
The whole reason I started doing this is because I couldn’t find anyone else who is.
I want to give up, but I’m not going to because I also want to succeed. And more importantly, I want the women I seek to help to succeed as well.
Thank you for reading my diary-16 year old me would cringe if she knew that I let you.
I think I’ll record a Vlog next time! Drop a comment if you’d watch it.
For the mother who asked me how I overcame my baby’s nipple confusion on Tiktok, I want you to know two things: 1. You are not alone 2. You are not a bad mom.
Be kind to yourself. Breastfeeding, like motherhood is hard. It’s okay if you’re struggling. Breastfeeding is something that you learn, it doesn’t come natural.
What is nipple confusion?
The phrase nipple confusion or nipple preference, refers to babies who cry when they’re offered the breast when switching from bottles to breasts or pacifiers to breast.
Here’s a very helpful article by Parents magazine that defines the phrases with more details.
What causes this issue?
This problem arises when an infant is introduced to a bottle or pacifier that isn’t designed for breastfed babies before the infant is used to breastfeeding.
My Experience With Nipple Confusion
As mentioned in a different post, my second born Kason developed nipple confusion at the hospital. Though he breastfed like a champ right after birth, he quickly developed a preference for the Avent pacifier that the hospital gave him.
I was devastated. To be honest, I felt like a failure. I blamed myself for his struggles. I was really hard on myself because of how easy my experience breastfeeding my first son was. Apart from cracked & bleeding nipples, I didn’t have an issues feeding Jameson.
I was also tired. I didn’t sleep for 48 hours after I had Kason because of COVID protocols. My husband was at home with our toddler & I was alone with a newborn in a hospital that was having security problems-or so I was told. I’ll share that story soon & link it here.
Any who, because I was exhausted, I didn’t make time to research solutions. Instead, I solved our problem on my own.
My solution for a nipple confused baby
To help my baby overcome his confusion/preference, I would interchange my nipple for his pacifier during his feedings.
Each session would begin with his pacifier in his mouth. Once he looked comfortable, I’d remove the pacifier & replace it with my nipple as smoothly as possible. Every time he unlatched I gave him the pacifier. I would end the feeding session once he started crying when offered my nipple.
Overtime, he unlatched less often & his feeding sessions became longer as he became more comfortable with breastfeeding.
I also really focused on dream feeding-which was convenient for me because I co-sleep and literally always hold him during nap time.
Dream feeding refers to the method that many nursing mothers use to prolong their baby’s sleep. While your baby is sleeping, try to slip your nipple into your baby’s mouth. If your baby doesn’t take it, slightly wake up your baby until they latch on. This approach was much easier than switching out my nipple for the pacifier because he was asleep, so he fed longer without getting upset or wanting the pacifier.
These are the steps that I took to strengthen my breastfeeding relationship with my second born. Let me know if you try these methods by dropping a comment below.
Thank you so much for being here! I appreciate your presence more than you’ll ever know.
If you’re reading this, it’s most likely because you’re stressing over breastfeeding. I’ve been there momma.
I’m not going to tell you that it will get easier because honestly, it might not. But I can tell you that you’ll become stronger.
Honest confessions from a mother who battled postpartum rage in silence for far too long before she decided to get the help that she & her family needed.
Postpartum rage made me the abusive and toxic member of my family that I always try to avoid at traditional family gatherings.
Sadly, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop bumping into her at family events,
the hidden arguments with my husband,
and the sleepless nights with my baby.
I always ran into her.
I’m sorry for every time that I lost control and said & did things that I’ll always regret.
I apologize for the tense environment that I created in my home. When I was at my lowest, my husband and toddler were constantly on edge. Instead of jumping into an activity, they’d do it very slowly to make sure that it wouldn’t trigger me.
I make my husband feel like he needs my permission to do small things. If he wants to watch tv while we are in the same room, he’ll ask me if I’m in the mood for tv before turning it on.
I make my toddler fear me. When he can sense that I’m on edge, he’ll tip toe down the hallway to ask me for something. “Mommy, can I have a snack?” He’ll ask very meekly with a bit of fear, sadness, & confusion in his eyes.
I never wanted to be the mother who screams or the wife who purposefully starts arguments with her husband, but sadly, that’s who postpartum rage makes me be.
I regret not being able to enjoy family time because I was full of rage.
I was short-tempered with my toddler during almost every second of every day.
Shamefully, even though I strive to be a gentle parent, I admit that I hit my oldest’s hand a few times (much harder than I should have) while blinded by rage.
….. and most importantly, my heart aches to think about how often I wasn’t there for my toddler when he needed me during a melt-down because his emotions were triggering me.
This list of regrets doesn’t cover everything that I regret doing while battling postpartum rage. It highlights the thoughts that keep me up at night.
If you’re reading this post, you’re most likely battling postpartum rage. If you are, I want you to know two very important things:
• Battling postpartum rage does not make you a bad mother
• You don’t need to be ashamed of what’s happening to you
What you’re experiencing is normal and does not define who you are. If you’ve sought out help, I’m proud of you!
If you haven’t reached that milestone yet, know that I believe in you. You are strong enough to realize that you deserve to prioritize your mental health.
No matter where you are in your battle, you will get through this queen!
Thank you for reading this post. Leave a comment to let me know if you enjoyed it!
For the mother who has experienced the mentally exhausting battle that comes from fighting postpartum rage every second of every day, know that you are not alone.
I was completely out of control.
Anger constantly consumed every part of me.
I tried my best to fight off the urge to scream & break things, but postpartum rage was almost always too strong.
When it Started
In reflecting on my journey, I’ve pinpointed the start of my battle with postpartum rage when I first began my MA.
My then, little family of three, had just moved from our small hometown to a big city for my husband’s first big boy job. We had both just finished undergraduate and we’re excited for the next chapter of our lives.
I’m very ambitious and because of this, I felt that I needed to be more than a stay at home mom. So, I stared an online master’s program in hopes that it would help me land a remote job.
My struggles began when I couldn’t find balance. My husband worked LONG hours. It was difficult for me to figure out how to maintain a clean home, cook, raise a healthy baby that I exclusively breastfed, and make time for my master’s program.
I had a very small window to work on my assignments. When my husband got home from work, I had roughly 2-3 hours to complete assignments while he fed & bathed our kiddo. I also worked on the weekends, which eventually became problematic. Most families use the weekends to decompress and spend quality time as a family. So, because I chose to use the weekends to complete assignments, we weren’t given anytime to reset.
Not having downtime is never a good idea.
As my program progressed & the courses became harder, I needed more time to complete my assignments but our schedule wouldn’t budge.
Slowly, my lack of time & hectic schedule caused me to fear that I wouldn’t be successful. I became anxious and eventually my anxiety & fear began presenting itself in the form of rage.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with postpartum rage, I’ll link an article here that explains how anxiety, fear, & rage are connected.
My Breaking Point
I avoided seeking help much longer than I should have. For nearly half a year, I tried my best to hide my anger from those outside of my household in fear that I’d be labeled as an unfit mother and bad wife.
I caved and made an appointment after I realized how often I was uncontrollably lashing out at my husband. Though I never physically abused anyone, I said things that I’ll always regret and I was constantly on edge.
Life With Rage
Living with postpartum rage is honestly the most difficult challenge I’ve ever faced. I’m not an emotional person. Tbh, I try to avoid expressing deep emotions because it makes me uncomfortable. So, when the rage kicked in & I was unable to control myself, I had no clue how to cope.
I almost always feel angry. When I don’t feel angry, I’m most likely feeling sad because of something that I did while blinded by rage.
Have you ever caught yourself confused by an emotion that you’re feeling? I have.
I’ve been fighting postpartum rage for so long that happiness and peace of mind feels odd to me.
My Mindset Today
I am not where I want to be, but I am so much better than I used to be.
After I had my second son. Postpartum rage reappeared stronger than before. I decided to make some changes.
I knew that that I didn’t want to put another baby through what my first went through, so I sought help as soon as I noticed that I felt off again.
With the help of prescribed antidepressants & anxiety medicine, a creative outlet, and mindset work, I have learned how to best manage my rage.
I don’t have full control. I still feel angry and I’m still triggered by many things that I don’t think should make me angry, but I no longer lash out on others or do anything else that would instantly make me feel shamed.
Thank you for being here! You could be doing so many others things, yet you chose to visit my sight. Thank you thank you thank you!
Now that you’ve read what I have to say, visit my Instagram or TikTok to se what I have to say 🙂
Drop a comment on my social channels to let me know that you were here.
For the mother who is uncertain that mindset training won’t work for her or simply just doesn’t know what it is.
Your mindset impacts how you interact and respond to the world around you.
What is Mindset?
According to Kendra Cherry, a mindset is comprised of the beliefs that you use to make sense of yourself and everything around you. Essentially, it’s what you think and how you feel about everything.
Two Kinds of Mindset:
Fixed Mindset: The belief that you are born with specific limitations that cannot be changed
Growth Mindset: The belief that with practice and time, you can change your characteristics
Those with a growth mindset are more likely to view setbacks and challenges as a learning opportunity, while those with the fixed mindset are likely to give up when faced with a challenge.
Which Mindset Do You Have?
Gives Up Easily
Inspired by the success of others
Threatened by the success of others
You believe that you can grow
You don’t believe that you can change
Enjoys trying new things
Avoids trying new things
Why is Mindset Important?
The state of your mindset is important because it impacts every area of your life. Having a strong, positive, growth mindset is essential to your overall health-especially self-esteem.
Let’s work through an example. If you’re here, you’re most likely struggling with a postpartum mental illness such as rage or depression. If you have a fixed mindset & you’re battling one (or perhaps both) of these illnesses, you’ll really struggle to overcome this battle.
These are some of the thoughts you might have:
“No matter what I do, I will always be depressed”
“I will never be as mentally stable as some of the mothers that I know”
However, if you approach these illnesses with a growth mindset, you’ll be more likely to come out on top.
Your thought will transition to:
“I haven’t overcome my depression yet, but I’ll get there”
“I’m not as stable as my mom friends yet, but I will be”
Do you see the difference?
How Do You Change Your Mindset?
Practice, practice, practice.
If you have a fixed mindset, but you want to have a growth mindset, you need to focus on changing how you think. Every time you find yourself facing a challenge, ask yourself this:
Am I approaching this challenge with a fixed mindset or growth mindset? Do I believe that I can overcome this challenge or do I believe that I will fail?
It will take a lot of practice, but overtime, you will teach yourself to be more open to change.
Thank you being here! I appreciate your support more than you know. Since you’re here, leave me a comment below and let me know if this post is helpful. I genuinely value your opinion and honestly need it to ensure that I’m achieving my goal of positively impacting the motherhood community.
For the mother who strives to change herself in the new year for all the wrong reasons.
It’s that time of the year where almost everyone is self-reflecting. They’re taking time to look back on what they did this year & begin planning out the goals that they want to achieve in the new year.
Did you achieve your goals in 2021? What are your plans for 2022?
As you begin to create your new goals for 2022, remember to be realistic. Instead of aligning your goals with society’s standards, create goals that best align with your life.
What Do You Want To Achieve & Why?
For every goal that you make, ask yourself the following question: Am I setting this goal because I want to or because society says that I should?
When you find yourself making goals because society says that you should, I recommend that you trash them. It’s 2021. It’s time to stop letting society control your life.
Let’s work through an example. Loosing weight is a very popular New Year’s resolution, is it one of yours?
Though popular, this goal can be very toxic if it’s not made for the right reasons. Do you want to loose weight so that you can fit into society’s unrealistic expectations for what bodies look like? Or do you ultimately strive to become a healthier version of yourself in the new year?
If you want to be healthier, you should reword your goal. Instead of focusing on loosing weight, simply focus on being healthier. In doing so, you’ll place more of an emphasis on creating a healthier lifestyle instead of stressing out and most likely using toxic weightloss tactics.
5 Realistic Goals For Tired Moms
Take A Trip By Yourself
Make More Time For Self-care
Prioritize Your Mental Health
Create a Must Visit List For 2022
Reconnect With The Woman You Were Before Kids
Take A Trip By Yourself
If you’re like me, you probably hardcore struggle with anxiety & mom guilt, so this goal may seem impossible to achieve.
Let’s talk it out.
Taking a trip by yourself doesn’t have to mean that you have to plan a huge get away for yourself. It could be something as simple as visiting the new store you’ve wanted to go to without bringing your kids with you.
No matter the size of your trip, make sure that you do it by yourself. I know leaving the house without your kids is hard. I’m 7 months postpartum with my second and I still guilt myself for doing anything without my children. Tbh, on Christmas Day I tried to drive to my mom’s house to pick up food without my kiddos but mom guilt had other plans. I wasn’t even 5 minutes away from my home when I decided to turn around & let my husband pick up the food instead.
Make More Time For Self-Care
You deserve to shower for more than 10 minutes-without being interrupted. In fact, you deserve so much more than that.
In 2022, I want you to set aside at least one day a month where you solely focus on taking care of yourself. Now I know, that might seem a little crazy. You probably laughed while reading that sentence. You might even be questioning if I’m actually a mom. Heck, even I questioned this goal when I first wrote it down, but then I reminded myself that not only is this goal realistic, but it’s also necessary for me to be the best version of myself in 2022.
Start small then go big! And when the mom guilt and anxiety tries to ruin your day, throw back a couple margs and keep moving forward. If you’re not a margarita gal, remind yourself that you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Prioritize Your Mental Health
Mental health is one of the most under discussed topics in motherhood because society wants you to believe that suffering from a mental illness makes you a bad mother. This belief is dated and has always been 100% inaccurate.
Please, please stop suffering in silence. When January 1st hits, I want you to make that appointment that you’ve been avoiding. Heck, stop reading this post and make the appointment now.
If you don’t want to make an appointment, share your struggles with a loved one or find an activity that helps improve your mental health.
Do what you need to do to ensure that you’re taking care of your mental state just as well as you are taking care of children. And most importantly, NEVER shame yourself for prioritizing your mental health over anything.
Create A Must Visit List For 2022
If you don’t think this goal is important, scroll past this section. Or keep reading to understand why visiting places that you’ve always dreamed of is a goal that you need to set for 2022.
Before I became a mom, I was very spontaneous. I went on unplanned adventures as often as I could. My husband always says that he’s thankful that we’re together because without me, he’d never leave home.
Today I’m lucky if I go outside to check the mail. I’d like to say that this is mainly because of COVID but I can’t. After I brought a new being into the world many of my character traits faded away, being spontaneous was one of them.
Jumping in the car not knowing where I’m going used to bring me so much joy, but now it stresses me out. I long for the days where I never knew where I was going but somehow always managed to have an awesome adventure.
Do you feel the same way? If your answer is yes, let’s change that. In 2022, I want you to visit the places that you’ve only visited in your dreams.
Life is too short to waste time wishing that you had done more. So stop wishing and start doing! I promise you won’t regret it.
Reconnect With The Woman You Used To Be
Who were you before you became a mom? Were you daring? Did you go out more often? It’s time for you to reconnect with that version of yourself.
So, how can you achieve this goal? I used social media to rediscover myself. Through creating content that aimed to empower other mothers, I simultaneously empowered myself- read more here.
If you’re not a fan of social media, or you simply just don’t want to share your story online, you could do things the old fashioned way by starting a journal.
For you first entry, write about the woman that you currently are. Then, flip to the last page and write about who you used to be. As each day goes by, start each entry by writing about who you currently are then try to connect who you are now to the person you used be.
Let’s explore an example. Perhaps today you were a mom who cooked three meals for a toddler who didn’t eat any of them. And maybe in the past you were simply a woman who loved to cook. Would you prefer to view yourself as an annoyed mother who cooks food for an ungrateful toddler or as a woman who has fun in the kitchen while trying to figure out what her child will eat?
I’d much rather be the second version.
Changing the narrative and adjusting your perspective is a key aspect in remembering who you used to be. If you choose to explore this activity, let me know by leaving a comment below or sharing a post online & tagging me on TikTok or Instagram.
All of the goals above are suggestions based on the topics that I see many mothers discuss online-including myself.
You can choose to make the same goals that you always set: loose weight, eat healthier, yatta yatta. Or you can sit down and take time to make realistic goals that actually align with wha you want to achieve in life.
Are you going to be your own person in 2022 or are you going to be the person that society wants you to be?
The choice is yours queen.
As always, thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my post. I appreciate your support more than you’ll ever know!
This one is for the mothers who believe that they have to hide parts of themselves online in order to successfully build a strong following to achieve their goal of becoming a mom influencer.
When I first re-joined Instagram, after spending nearly a year away from it, I created an account to make mom friends.
When I type this, I am not lying. I literally only have one friend. She lives an hour away and doesn’t have kids so sometimes we struggle to connect.
I was insanely lonely so I dove deep into the mom blog realm of Instagram in search of online friends who can relate to what I’m going through.
At first, I was really happy that I was making connections. I quickly noticed that many moms are actually making a living online and decided that I wanted to do the same.
I put my MA Communications to work. I used what I learned to build a brand that others could relate to. I also studied top mom influencers to learn how they built their communities.
Unfortunately, while trying to build a following, I lost myself even more. Instead of focusing on my voice, I created content that I thought others wanted to see, but don’t get it twisted.
Creating content to attract others does not imply that I was being inauthentic. I completely support every piece of content that I’ve shared. I’m not saying that I lied. I’m saying that I didn’t include important parts of myself in my presence online in fear that it would prevent me from becoming an influencer.
So, How did Social Media Help Me Find Myself?
While attempting to empower the mothers in my community, I simultaneously empowered myself. Every time I shared a post, I felt closer to the woman I used to be. And overtime my content shifted. I went from being a stay at home mom who discusses postpartum to being a stay at home queen who’s open about being a bisexual wife and cannabis mom.
I’ve spent most of my time on Instagram, but TikTok is the main reason I shifted my mindset. I love Instagram as a platform, but I feel that the motherhood community on Instagram isn’t as genuine as the motherhood community on TikTok is. Though many moms on Instagram claim that their main goal is to normalize motherhood, I argue that their main goal is to generate an income.
I’m not trashing moms who make money on Instagram. Heck, I want to be one of them. However, I am trashing moms who pretend to be something that they’re not in order to make a profit. And yes, that does imply that I’m somewhat trashing myself.
Again, I never lied, but at one point my end goal was to make money and because of that I wasn’t authentically me.
Why Should You Believe Me?
Check my record. I REALLY want to delete my old content on Instagram, but I’m not going to because it’s apart of my journey. If you start from the my first post, you’ll notice the shift.
Where do we go From Here?
We keep moving forward. We continue to strive to change the narrative for not only what a good mom looks like but also for what happiness looks like. “Life is not a one size fits all” states Linda Fruits, the OG Queen of normalization.
And she’s 100% right. Your life is not supposed to look exactly like my life. The only character trait that we absolutely need to have in common is happiness.
So, figure out what makes you happy and go for it!
Thank you for reading my post. Leave me a comment so that I know you were here! I genuinely want to connect with you & I value what you want to say.