I bought the denim jacket in a size XL. At first I didn’t want to buy that big of a size because I wasn’t sure it would fit.
I’m 5’8” and approx 180lbs. This is the most that I’ve ever weighed & im finally okay with that. I’m happy that I bought an XL because it fits perfectly. Since having kids, I’ve preferred my clothes to be a bit roomier. So, if you’re body is similar to mine & you prefer a snugger fit, I highly recommend that you order a smaller size.
If you’re looking for sunglasses that are a vibe and actually block out the sun, you should definitely get these! As soon as I put them on, I instantly feel like a bad ass hippie bitch. And that’s the goal!
I used to LOVE going shopping in person & then the pandemic hit. Since then, I’ve done most of my shopping online. I just recently started picking out groceries in person again.
I love shopping online because I can do it from the comfort of my bed & I don’t feel guilty for leaving my kids at home while I spoil myself. Nor do I have to yell at my toddler 20 times for touching shit in the store.
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Sharing your story online isn’t for the weak hearted. It’s time consuming, tiresome, and yet it’s also rewarding.
I’ve been a content creator for nearly a year now. I started on Instagram then expanded to TikTok & this blog. I considered joining other platforms such as Twitter & Facebook to expand my reach, but ultimately decided not to because I want to live my life.
Here are three reasons I believe using content creation to build a presence online can be toxic:
You have to make sacrifices. You can’t have it all. As a stay at home mom & content creator, i constantly feel like I have to sacrifice either my time with my children or my time to sleep in order to create enough content to stay relevant.
I aim to post at least one reel & three TikToks everyday. I also try to post one blog a week-though I’d like to post more.
To post one reel everyday, I batch make 7 videos on Saturday & Sunday. But most of them remain in my draft folder because I don’t think that they’re good enough (I’m working on changing this belief).
Everyone isn’t kind. Part of me wishes that we lived in a world full of bliss, but the realist in me knows that world would suck. In order to enjoy my highs, I must experience my lows. And as a content creator, I have a lot of lows.
If you’re going to share your story online, you need to be mentally prepared to deal with the people who aren’t going to like you. Once you go viral & your account starts growing, you’ll have to make a choice:
Do you want to ignore the hateful comments that you receive or do you want to respond to them?
I’m currently dealing with this issue. I want to be a safe space but I also want to destigmatize the topics that I discuss. I believe that I can achieve both of these if I focus on educating those I disagree with, instead of arguing with them.
Lastly,you really get to know yourself. If you’re suppressing parts of yourself, they’ll resurface while you’re creating content. And if you’re prepared to accept those parts of you, your mental health will take a hit.
At first, I enjoyed creating for self-reflection purposes. At the end of each day, I journaled on social media. Soon, I rediscovered the woman I lost in motherhood.
Shortly after I happily reconnected with my past self, my traumas started to surface. I was not at all prepared to revisit past traumas because I was already battling postpartum rage in the present.
Healing from the pains that I’ve hidden for what feels like most of my life has been very difficult, but I’m happy it happened because I’m stronger & healthier because of it.
Being a content creator is far from easy. It puts you in a position where you have to choose to either define yourself by the opinions of your followers or be strong enough to believe in your perception of yourself.
If you’re just starting out as a content creator, don’t let this post scare you. I highly recommend creating content online because of how therapeutic it can be.
If you think reading negative comments would be too much for you, make your profile private or turn off the comments on your posts.
Do what works for you.
How do you protect yourself online? Let me know in the comments.
Thank you for being here. I genuinely appreciate your presence.
For the mother who strives to change herself in the new year for all the wrong reasons.
It’s that time of the year where almost everyone is self-reflecting. They’re taking time to look back on what they did this year & begin planning out the goals that they want to achieve in the new year.
Did you achieve your goals in 2021? What are your plans for 2022?
As you begin to create your new goals for 2022, remember to be realistic. Instead of aligning your goals with society’s standards, create goals that best align with your life.
What Do You Want To Achieve & Why?
For every goal that you make, ask yourself the following question: Am I setting this goal because I want to or because society says that I should?
When you find yourself making goals because society says that you should, I recommend that you trash them. It’s 2021. It’s time to stop letting society control your life.
Let’s work through an example. Loosing weight is a very popular New Year’s resolution, is it one of yours?
Though popular, this goal can be very toxic if it’s not made for the right reasons. Do you want to loose weight so that you can fit into society’s unrealistic expectations for what bodies look like? Or do you ultimately strive to become a healthier version of yourself in the new year?
If you want to be healthier, you should reword your goal. Instead of focusing on loosing weight, simply focus on being healthier. In doing so, you’ll place more of an emphasis on creating a healthier lifestyle instead of stressing out and most likely using toxic weightloss tactics.
5 Realistic Goals For Tired Moms
Take A Trip By Yourself
Make More Time For Self-care
Prioritize Your Mental Health
Create a Must Visit List For 2022
Reconnect With The Woman You Were Before Kids
Take A Trip By Yourself
If you’re like me, you probably hardcore struggle with anxiety & mom guilt, so this goal may seem impossible to achieve.
Let’s talk it out.
Taking a trip by yourself doesn’t have to mean that you have to plan a huge get away for yourself. It could be something as simple as visiting the new store you’ve wanted to go to without bringing your kids with you.
No matter the size of your trip, make sure that you do it by yourself. I know leaving the house without your kids is hard. I’m 7 months postpartum with my second and I still guilt myself for doing anything without my children. Tbh, on Christmas Day I tried to drive to my mom’s house to pick up food without my kiddos but mom guilt had other plans. I wasn’t even 5 minutes away from my home when I decided to turn around & let my husband pick up the food instead.
Make More Time For Self-Care
You deserve to shower for more than 10 minutes-without being interrupted. In fact, you deserve so much more than that.
In 2022, I want you to set aside at least one day a month where you solely focus on taking care of yourself. Now I know, that might seem a little crazy. You probably laughed while reading that sentence. You might even be questioning if I’m actually a mom. Heck, even I questioned this goal when I first wrote it down, but then I reminded myself that not only is this goal realistic, but it’s also necessary for me to be the best version of myself in 2022.
Start small then go big! And when the mom guilt and anxiety tries to ruin your day, throw back a couple margs and keep moving forward. If you’re not a margarita gal, remind yourself that you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Prioritize Your Mental Health
Mental health is one of the most under discussed topics in motherhood because society wants you to believe that suffering from a mental illness makes you a bad mother. This belief is dated and has always been 100% inaccurate.
Please, please stop suffering in silence. When January 1st hits, I want you to make that appointment that you’ve been avoiding. Heck, stop reading this post and make the appointment now.
If you don’t want to make an appointment, share your struggles with a loved one or find an activity that helps improve your mental health.
Do what you need to do to ensure that you’re taking care of your mental state just as well as you are taking care of children. And most importantly, NEVER shame yourself for prioritizing your mental health over anything.
Create A Must Visit List For 2022
If you don’t think this goal is important, scroll past this section. Or keep reading to understand why visiting places that you’ve always dreamed of is a goal that you need to set for 2022.
Before I became a mom, I was very spontaneous. I went on unplanned adventures as often as I could. My husband always says that he’s thankful that we’re together because without me, he’d never leave home.
Today I’m lucky if I go outside to check the mail. I’d like to say that this is mainly because of COVID but I can’t. After I brought a new being into the world many of my character traits faded away, being spontaneous was one of them.
Jumping in the car not knowing where I’m going used to bring me so much joy, but now it stresses me out. I long for the days where I never knew where I was going but somehow always managed to have an awesome adventure.
Do you feel the same way? If your answer is yes, let’s change that. In 2022, I want you to visit the places that you’ve only visited in your dreams.
Life is too short to waste time wishing that you had done more. So stop wishing and start doing! I promise you won’t regret it.
Reconnect With The Woman You Used To Be
Who were you before you became a mom? Were you daring? Did you go out more often? It’s time for you to reconnect with that version of yourself.
So, how can you achieve this goal? I used social media to rediscover myself. Through creating content that aimed to empower other mothers, I simultaneously empowered myself- read more here.
If you’re not a fan of social media, or you simply just don’t want to share your story online, you could do things the old fashioned way by starting a journal.
For you first entry, write about the woman that you currently are. Then, flip to the last page and write about who you used to be. As each day goes by, start each entry by writing about who you currently are then try to connect who you are now to the person you used be.
Let’s explore an example. Perhaps today you were a mom who cooked three meals for a toddler who didn’t eat any of them. And maybe in the past you were simply a woman who loved to cook. Would you prefer to view yourself as an annoyed mother who cooks food for an ungrateful toddler or as a woman who has fun in the kitchen while trying to figure out what her child will eat?
I’d much rather be the second version.
Changing the narrative and adjusting your perspective is a key aspect in remembering who you used to be. If you choose to explore this activity, let me know by leaving a comment below or sharing a post online & tagging me on TikTok or Instagram.
All of the goals above are suggestions based on the topics that I see many mothers discuss online-including myself.
You can choose to make the same goals that you always set: loose weight, eat healthier, yatta yatta. Or you can sit down and take time to make realistic goals that actually align with wha you want to achieve in life.
Are you going to be your own person in 2022 or are you going to be the person that society wants you to be?
The choice is yours queen.
As always, thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my post. I appreciate your support more than you’ll ever know!
This one is for the mothers who believe that they have to hide parts of themselves online in order to successfully build a strong following to achieve their goal of becoming a mom influencer.
When I first re-joined Instagram, after spending nearly a year away from it, I created an account to make mom friends.
When I type this, I am not lying. I literally only have one friend. She lives an hour away and doesn’t have kids so sometimes we struggle to connect.
I was insanely lonely so I dove deep into the mom blog realm of Instagram in search of online friends who can relate to what I’m going through.
At first, I was really happy that I was making connections. I quickly noticed that many moms are actually making a living online and decided that I wanted to do the same.
I put my MA Communications to work. I used what I learned to build a brand that others could relate to. I also studied top mom influencers to learn how they built their communities.
Unfortunately, while trying to build a following, I lost myself even more. Instead of focusing on my voice, I created content that I thought others wanted to see, but don’t get it twisted.
Creating content to attract others does not imply that I was being inauthentic. I completely support every piece of content that I’ve shared. I’m not saying that I lied. I’m saying that I didn’t include important parts of myself in my presence online in fear that it would prevent me from becoming an influencer.
So, How did Social Media Help Me Find Myself?
While attempting to empower the mothers in my community, I simultaneously empowered myself. Every time I shared a post, I felt closer to the woman I used to be. And overtime my content shifted. I went from being a stay at home mom who discusses postpartum to being a stay at home queen who’s open about being a bisexual wife and cannabis mom.
I’ve spent most of my time on Instagram, but TikTok is the main reason I shifted my mindset. I love Instagram as a platform, but I feel that the motherhood community on Instagram isn’t as genuine as the motherhood community on TikTok is. Though many moms on Instagram claim that their main goal is to normalize motherhood, I argue that their main goal is to generate an income.
I’m not trashing moms who make money on Instagram. Heck, I want to be one of them. However, I am trashing moms who pretend to be something that they’re not in order to make a profit. And yes, that does imply that I’m somewhat trashing myself.
Again, I never lied, but at one point my end goal was to make money and because of that I wasn’t authentically me.
Why Should You Believe Me?
Check my record. I REALLY want to delete my old content on Instagram, but I’m not going to because it’s apart of my journey. If you start from the my first post, you’ll notice the shift.
Where do we go From Here?
We keep moving forward. We continue to strive to change the narrative for not only what a good mom looks like but also for what happiness looks like. “Life is not a one size fits all” states Linda Fruits, the OG Queen of normalization.
And she’s 100% right. Your life is not supposed to look exactly like my life. The only character trait that we absolutely need to have in common is happiness.
So, figure out what makes you happy and go for it!
Thank you for reading my post. Leave me a comment so that I know you were here! I genuinely want to connect with you & I value what you want to say.