3 Reasons Content Creators Struggle Mentally

Sharing your story online isn’t for the weak hearted. It’s time consuming, tiresome, and yet it’s also rewarding.

I’ve been a content creator for nearly a year now. I started on Instagram then expanded to TikTok & this blog. I considered joining other platforms such as Twitter & Facebook to expand my reach, but ultimately decided not to because I want to live my life.

Here are three reasons I believe using content creation to build a presence online can be toxic:

You have to make sacrifices. You can’t have it all. As a stay at home mom & content creator, i constantly feel like I have to sacrifice either my time with my children or my time to sleep in order to create enough content to stay relevant.

I aim to post at least one reel & three TikToks everyday. I also try to post one blog a week-though I’d like to post more.

To post one reel everyday, I batch make 7 videos on Saturday & Sunday. But most of them remain in my draft folder because I don’t think that they’re good enough (I’m working on changing this belief).

Everyone isn’t kind. Part of me wishes that we lived in a world full of bliss, but the realist in me knows that world would suck. In order to enjoy my highs, I must experience my lows. And as a content creator, I have a lot of lows.

If you’re going to share your story online, you need to be mentally prepared to deal with the people who aren’t going to like you. Once you go viral & your account starts growing, you’ll have to make a choice:

Do you want to ignore the hateful comments that you receive or do you want to respond to them?

I’m currently dealing with this issue. I want to be a safe space but I also want to destigmatize the topics that I discuss. I believe that I can achieve both of these if I focus on educating those I disagree with, instead of arguing with them.

Lastly, you really get to know yourself. If you’re suppressing parts of yourself, they’ll resurface while you’re creating content. And if you’re prepared to accept those parts of you, your mental health will take a hit.

At first, I enjoyed creating for self-reflection purposes. At the end of each day, I journaled on social media. Soon, I rediscovered the woman I lost in motherhood.

Shortly after I happily reconnected with my past self, my traumas started to surface. I was not at all prepared to revisit past traumas because I was already battling postpartum rage in the present.

Healing from the pains that I’ve hidden for what feels like most of my life has been very difficult, but I’m happy it happened because I’m stronger & healthier because of it.

Closing

Being a content creator is far from easy. It puts you in a position where you have to choose to either define yourself by the opinions of your followers or be strong enough to believe in your perception of yourself.

If you’re just starting out as a content creator, don’t let this post scare you. I highly recommend creating content online because of how therapeutic it can be.

If you think reading negative comments would be too much for you, make your profile private or turn off the comments on your posts.

Do what works for you.

How do you protect yourself online? Let me know in the comments.

Thank you for being here. I genuinely appreciate your presence.

🤙🏼🤙🏼

Katlan

8 Regrets of an Angry Mother

Honest confessions from a mother who battled postpartum rage in silence for far too long before she decided to get the help that she & her family needed.

Postpartum rage made me the abusive and toxic member of my family that I always try to avoid at traditional family gatherings.

Sadly, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop bumping into her at family events,

guest visits,

the hidden arguments with my husband,

and the sleepless nights with my baby.

I always ran into her.

My Regrets

I’m sorry for every time that I lost control and said & did things that I’ll always regret.

  1. I apologize for the tense environment that I created in my home. When I was at my lowest, my husband and toddler were constantly on edge. Instead of jumping into an activity, they’d do it very slowly to make sure that it wouldn’t trigger me.
  2. I make my husband feel like he needs my permission to do small things. If he wants to watch tv while we are in the same room, he’ll ask me if I’m in the mood for tv before turning it on.
  3. I make my toddler fear me. When he can sense that I’m on edge, he’ll tip toe down the hallway to ask me for something. “Mommy, can I have a snack?” He’ll ask very meekly with a bit of fear, sadness, & confusion in his eyes.
  4. I never wanted to be the mother who screams or the wife who purposefully starts arguments with her husband, but sadly, that’s who postpartum rage makes me be.
  5. I regret not being able to enjoy family time because I was full of rage.
  6. I was short-tempered with my toddler during almost every second of every day.
  7. Shamefully, even though I strive to be a gentle parent, I admit that I hit my oldest’s hand a few times (much harder than I should have) while blinded by rage.
  8. ….. and most importantly, my heart aches to think about how often I wasn’t there for my toddler when he needed me during a melt-down because his emotions were triggering me.

This list of regrets doesn’t cover everything that I regret doing while battling postpartum rage. It highlights the thoughts that keep me up at night.

Closing

If you’re reading this post, you’re most likely battling postpartum rage. If you are, I want you to know two very important things:

• Battling postpartum rage does not make you a bad mother

• You don’t need to be ashamed of what’s happening to you

What you’re experiencing is normal and does not define who you are. If you’ve sought out help, I’m proud of you!

If you haven’t reached that milestone yet, know that I believe in you. You are strong enough to realize that you deserve to prioritize your mental health.

No matter where you are in your battle, you will get through this queen!

Thank you for reading this post. Leave a comment to let me know if you enjoyed it!

xoxox

Katlan

Living With Postpartum Rage

For the mother who has experienced the mentally exhausting battle that comes from fighting postpartum rage every second of every day, know that you are not alone.

I was completely out of control.

Anger constantly consumed every part of me.

I tried my best to fight off the urge to scream & break things, but postpartum rage was almost always too strong.

When it Started

In reflecting on my journey, I’ve pinpointed the start of my battle with postpartum rage when I first began my MA.

My then, little family of three, had just moved from our small hometown to a big city for my husband’s first big boy job. We had both just finished undergraduate and we’re excited for the next chapter of our lives.

I’m very ambitious and because of this, I felt that I needed to be more than a stay at home mom. So, I stared an online master’s program in hopes that it would help me land a remote job.

My struggles began when I couldn’t find balance. My husband worked LONG hours. It was difficult for me to figure out how to maintain a clean home, cook, raise a healthy baby that I exclusively breastfed, and make time for my master’s program.

I had a very small window to work on my assignments. When my husband got home from work, I had roughly 2-3 hours to complete assignments while he fed & bathed our kiddo. I also worked on the weekends, which eventually became problematic. Most families use the weekends to decompress and spend quality time as a family. So, because I chose to use the weekends to complete assignments, we weren’t given anytime to reset.

Not having downtime is never a good idea.

As my program progressed & the courses became harder, I needed more time to complete my assignments but our schedule wouldn’t budge.

Slowly, my lack of time & hectic schedule caused me to fear that I wouldn’t be successful. I became anxious and eventually my anxiety & fear began presenting itself in the form of rage.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with postpartum rage, I’ll link an article here that explains how anxiety, fear, & rage are connected.

My Breaking Point

I avoided seeking help much longer than I should have. For nearly half a year, I tried my best to hide my anger from those outside of my household in fear that I’d be labeled as an unfit mother and bad wife.

I caved and made an appointment after I realized how often I was uncontrollably lashing out at my husband. Though I never physically abused anyone, I said things that I’ll always regret and I was constantly on edge.

Life With Rage

Living with postpartum rage is honestly the most difficult challenge I’ve ever faced. I’m not an emotional person. Tbh, I try to avoid expressing deep emotions because it makes me uncomfortable. So, when the rage kicked in & I was unable to control myself, I had no clue how to cope.

I almost always feel angry. When I don’t feel angry, I’m most likely feeling sad because of something that I did while blinded by rage.

Have you ever caught yourself confused by an emotion that you’re feeling? I have.

I’ve been fighting postpartum rage for so long that happiness and peace of mind feels odd to me.

My Mindset Today

I am not where I want to be, but I am so much better than I used to be.

After I had my second son. Postpartum rage reappeared stronger than before. I decided to make some changes.

I knew that that I didn’t want to put another baby through what my first went through, so I sought help as soon as I noticed that I felt off again.

With the help of prescribed antidepressants & anxiety medicine, a creative outlet, and mindset work, I have learned how to best manage my rage.

I don’t have full control. I still feel angry and I’m still triggered by many things that I don’t think should make me angry, but I no longer lash out on others or do anything else that would instantly make me feel shamed.

Closing

Thank you for being here! You could be doing so many others things, yet you chose to visit my sight. Thank you thank you thank you!

Now that you’ve read what I have to say, visit my Instagram or TikTok to se what I have to say 🙂

Drop a comment on my social channels to let me know that you were here.

I hope that you’re thriving!

xoxox

Katlan

Why Mindset Matters

For the mother who is uncertain that mindset training won’t work for her or simply just doesn’t know what it is.

Your mindset impacts how you interact and respond to the world around you.

What is Mindset?

According to Kendra Cherry, a mindset is comprised of the beliefs that you use to make sense of yourself and everything around you. Essentially, it’s what you think and how you feel about everything.

Two Kinds of Mindset:

Fixed Mindset: The belief that you are born with specific limitations that cannot be changed

Growth Mindset: The belief that with practice and time, you can change your characteristics

Those with a growth mindset are more likely to view setbacks and challenges as a learning opportunity, while those with the fixed mindset are likely to give up when faced with a challenge.

Which Mindset Do You Have?

Growth MindsetFixed Mindset
Embraces ChallengesAvoids Challenges
Stays PersistentGives Up Easily
Inspired by the success of othersThreatened by the success of others
You believe that you can growYou don’t believe that you can change
Enjoys trying new thingsAvoids trying new things

Why is Mindset Important?

The state of your mindset is important because it impacts every area of your life. Having a strong, positive, growth mindset is essential to your overall health-especially self-esteem.

Let’s work through an example. If you’re here, you’re most likely struggling with a postpartum mental illness such as rage or depression. If you have a fixed mindset & you’re battling one (or perhaps both) of these illnesses, you’ll really struggle to overcome this battle.

These are some of the thoughts you might have:

“No matter what I do, I will always be depressed”

“I will never be as mentally stable as some of the mothers that I know”

However, if you approach these illnesses with a growth mindset, you’ll be more likely to come out on top.

Your thought will transition to:

“I haven’t overcome my depression yet, but I’ll get there”

“I’m not as stable as my mom friends yet, but I will be”

Do you see the difference?

How Do You Change Your Mindset?

Practice, practice, practice.

If you have a fixed mindset, but you want to have a growth mindset, you need to focus on changing how you think. Every time you find yourself facing a challenge, ask yourself this:

Am I approaching this challenge with a fixed mindset or growth mindset? Do I believe that I can overcome this challenge or do I believe that I will fail?

It will take a lot of practice, but overtime, you will teach yourself to be more open to change.

Closing

Thank you being here! I appreciate your support more than you know. Since you’re here, leave me a comment below and let me know if this post is helpful. I genuinely value your opinion and honestly need it to ensure that I’m achieving my goal of positively impacting the motherhood community.

Again, thank you reading!

xoxox

Katlan