3 Ways to Manage Postpartum Rage

You are not a bad mom for being angered by things that you think should make you happy.

Recently I started discussing postpartum rage (PPR)on IG and an alarmingly number of mothers reached out to me to thank me for bringing awareness to a topic that they knew nothing about. You can view the reel here.

If you’re having a hard time controlling your anger, constantly fighting violent thoughts or urges, and/or shame yourself after feeling a flood of overwhelming emotions, you most likely have PPR.

Carrying the load of motherhood is hard. Battling a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder such as (PPR) makes it even harder.

And when left unmanaged, PPR can quickly consume every moment of your day.

What Can You Do To Best Manage Your Rage?

  1. Become familiar with PPR & the words associated with it.

When you realize that something feels off, hit the books and search the internet for the answers that you so desperately seek. (Be sure to double check your sources to ensure that you’re consuming credible content)

Speak to a healthcare professional, do your research, & create a plan of action that helps you take back control of your emotions.

Gaining an understanding of what’s happening to you, will help you realize that you’re not crazy. It will also provide you with the tools that you need to take care of your mental health.

2. Implement A Plan of Action

How are you going to manage your rage? What steps will you follow when your anger is triggered?

When I left my doctor’s office after being diagnosed with PPR, I told myself that knowing I have PPR & taking medicine for it, isn’t enough.

I needed to do more. So, once I got home. I researched PPR as best as I could (there isn’t a lot of information about PPR online because it’s often brushed off as a symptom of postpartum depression and/or postpartum anxiety). Once I felt comfortably in my knowledge base, I began devolving my plan.

I started by identifying my triggers. These are things that instantly make you livid. Most of my triggers are small things that I can avoid, but some of them are big things that I can’t put off.

Changing my squirmy baby’s diapers is one of my daily triggers that makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs. Do I feel bad for becoming so angry while changing his diaper? Yes. Do I understand that what I feel doesn’t make me a bad mom? Also yes.

Some days my medicine isn’t strong enough. Some days I forget to take my medicine. And on these days I am thankful that I have a plan of action in place because it’s the only thing that keeps me from going over the edge.

3. Inform Your Partner & Loved ones

After you make your plan (or before if you’d prefer to develop your plan with someone), share what you’ve learned with your partner and loved ones.

You don’t have to discuss what you’re going through with your loved ones that live outside of your home, but I recommend that you do because it really helps me. Telling my parents & my in-laws that I have PPR prevents me from feeling uncomfortable around them. When I loose my shit, they don’t look at me like I’m crazy because they’re aware of what I’m going through.

In fact, they actually help me by removing things that trigger me before I arrive & by giving me space when they see that I need it.

I openly discuss my mental health with those around me because I feel comfortable enough to do so. I believe discussing my struggles is the best way to normalize them but if doing so makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it.

Closing

It can be difficult to accept that battling PPR does not make you a bad mom because we’ve been taught to believe that mothers should be happy after having a baby. We’re also taught to repress and hide any emotion that isn’t happiness because “good moms” are happy and those who aren’t happy are considered “bad moms”.

But I’m here to tell you that you’re emotions are valid. Everything that you feel is normal. Once you accept this, you’ll start feeling better.

And though we’re both battling PPR, I need you to know that our battles will not look the same. Nor will our treatment plan. So, figure out what works best for you & do that.

Than you for visiting my blog! Send me a message & let me know that you were here.

Does this resonate with you? You are not alone! Subscribe to blog for more tips on how to parent with postpartum rage & all things honest motherhood.

Here I share my story for change!

My goal is to increase awareness for the most under discussed parts of motherhood in hopes that doing so will help modernize the dated standards that society uses to inaccurately define what a “good mom” looks like.


Resources

Anxiety and Depression Association of America (AdAA). (n.d.). Perinatal Mood Disorders. https://adaa.org/find-help-for/women/perinatalmoodisorders

Bologna, C. (2021, May 25). Postpartum Rage: What New Moms Needs to Know. Huff Post. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/postpartum-rage-new-moms_l_60ab131be4b031354798d66c/amp

Reem, A. (2021, June 6). The Invisible Load of Motherhood. Psyched Mommy. https://www.psychedmommy.com/blog/invisible-load-motherhood?format=amp

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